Debbie Major's griddled sausages with lentil and pimenton stew

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griddles sausages with lentil and pimenton stew - Debbie Major, Delicious, March 2014, p31

Jamie Oliver's proper bloke's fusilli

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proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

kay's sausage and guinness casserole

A third beautiful day running after wettest winter on record - could this be spring springing? Actually, despite the wall-to-wall rain I don’t remember this winter being particularly not sunny.

It's so nice I disappear off for my first jaunt around Richmond Park of the year, but I’ve got to be back in time to take Ana to Kensington for lunch with Kendra, and then I’ve got to get back in time to take Milo to a birthday party in Brentford, and once I’ve dropped him off I’ve got to be back in time for the England v Wales game and may be a brewski or two whilst super Georgey North runs in a hattrick.

Things sort of run like clockwork, with a couple of hiccoughs: I don’t leave early enough for my run so I only just get back in time to take Ana, who is less-than pleased to be travelling in the smelliest cab in London. The traffic coming back isn’t kind, so Milo has to sacrifice his lunch to my need for a shower, but at least I smell fresh when we make it to the party venue by the skin of our teeth. Traffic across Kew Bridge is a nightmare so I miss the first 10 minutes of the match (fortunately including that insufferable c0ck Danny Care’s try), but then it’s all cold beers and crisps on the beanbag as Wales stride towards another championship. Apart from the fact they’re utterly gash.

Still it is sunny, I have run 19.1K in fairly good pace and I’ve a fridge full of beers to sooth the pain. So much so at one point it looks like nobody is having dinner, Milo having eaten party food, Ana having lived it up on roast chicken at the Kensington Roof Gardens and I'm full of crisps and beer, but in the end some sort of sense prevails. Doubly so as we were umming and ahhing over a healthy and summery Vietnamese crab salad, but in the end stodge and (more alcohol) wins out as we opt for Kay’s sausage and Guinness casserole.

I go to bed very early.

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sausage and Guinness casserole - Mrs Kay McCarthy, now in the Black Book

kuru fasulye (turkish sausage with tomatoey beans)

The Yorkshire puddings were my idea...

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turkish sausage with tomatoey beans - Delicious, August 2007, now the Skull Book

kay's sausage and guinness casserole

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sausage and Guinness casserole - the mother-in-law, now in the Black Book

jamie's proper bloke's fusilli

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proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

jamie oliver's southern sausage stew

Having successfully fasted yesterday, tonight we undo all the good work by massively over-stuffing ourselves with porky goodness, and that’s not including the several-to-many cakes I managed to digest at work.

I rather suspect over-eating the following day is an inherent risk with the 5:2 diet, but generally we’ve been quite good at keeping our portion sizes down compared to last year. It’s even had a positive knock-on effect to how we view food, as we/I are much less likely to idly snack through boredom during the week, having put ourselves through the (relative) pain of rumbling stomachs and dizzy spells.

Not tonight though, and although Ana makes a show of complaining about the mountain of rice and spicy, sausage stew I pile onto our plates, her words are rather undercut by her actions as I certainly didn't force her to have seconds. And I note she left a couple of bits of green pepper and a pipkin of salt on her plate.

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jamie's southern sausage stew - Jamie Oliver, Delicious, October p41

jamie oliver's proper bloke's fusilli

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proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

raffaele and renata giacobazzi's cotechino al'Inglese

I'd like to wax long and lyrical about entertaining Mr Peter Magnus Leary this afternoon. To share the wide-ranging literary and sporting conversations we had, and the erudite and highly witty jokes bandied around in the afternoon sun, but I can't.

This is mainly because having met him at the station, we accidentally ended up in the pub between there and home for 3 hours, and then watched random Alpine stages of the Tour de France on the computer whilst drunkenly burbling about stuff we didn't really understand.

All of which impacted not only on making of lunch, but also my memories of eating it. This is a shame, and not just because of my fearsome hangover, as it's one of my very favouritist dinners to both make and wolf down. I mean, just look at it:

It's glorious! There's something amazingly warming and comforting about the combination of garlicky sausages, earthy lentils and the crunchy Yorkshires that puts a smile on face whilst I'm in the kitchen, and an even bigger one once it's in my mouth.

Wine Time
Obviously this was entirely wasted on us at the time, but I'd actually done some research on this before I went shopping, and came back with two reasonably (sub-£10) Italian reds I thought would be perfect: A Barbera and a Montepulciano D'Abruzzo. They probably were brilliant...

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cotechino al'Inglese - Raffaele and Renata Giacobazzi, Delicious, May 2007, p56

jamie oliver's proper bloke's fusilli

T-minus one sleep until C-A-N-A-D-I-A! After two consecutive night's of tastings, and with zero packing done, tonight the food reins are firmly in the grip or Mrs Barnes - if only because she's already fully packed.

Even better, we've got some help, so whilst I'm wrestling pants into a suitcase and Ana is playing with sausage, Kayosaurus and Mikeledocus are wrestling a massively over-excited Milo into bed.

It's a great pre-flight meal: stodgy and meaty, with some lemony notes from the fennel seeds, so we won't need to be running to the toilet every five minutes/having to eat loads of pretzels.

Obviously it's the last fatty/meal we'll be having for the next two weeks, because Canadians are all about the healthy stuff.

T-minus six hours...

sources
proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

jamie oliver's proper bloke's fusilli

Hurrah for The Queen! Negative "Hurrumble" for our time-keeping. Something happened today, something to do with boats, Royalty and torrential rain, but as we weren't there in time (again) let's draw a line under this sort of thing (care of Les Bren):

It never happened. Anyway who needs to be about 10metres away from the red carpet? Milo saw her and Phil in Sheen last month, if he sees her again he'll start to think they're friends and she owes him some Lego.

No, let's concentrate on the purpose of this blog, not bitter recriminations about getting up but food glorious food! Essentially nothing has happened for six or so hours, in the rain, apart from a couple of bottles of beer were drunk, maybe some wine and a variety of cold meats and crisps. Doesn't matter where, or why, the upshot is we're starving, and because of yesterday's BBQ there is a surfeit of sausages in the fridge ergo let's pig out on Jamie's proper bloke's fusilli:

Do we save any for Milo's lunch tomorrow? Do we bollocks. Do we dredge up the day's failings for a slightly drunken inquest into what went wrong? Mais oui!

Wine Time
Well we've had loads of everything so I suspect our palates were slightly blunted by this point. We drank rose, but I would imagine a lovely silky red, like a Montepulciano would be lush. Or just some more rose - it's dangerously easy-drinking!

sources
proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

kay's sausage & guinness casserole

Booze is a fickle mistress, so we're a bit all over the shop today. I have a little work delivery in the morning, and then whilst Ana combats the explosion of toys/old clothes/washing/washing-up me and the Milo get the shopping in.

Interestingly smoked salmon is back on the shopping list as the other fickle mistress in our house has decided he likes it again, but as long it's not 'cooked'. He's a fool, and a fool and his fish are soon partied.

Anyway, after possibly the longest day in history, complete with Wellington-esque weather, we finally get to relax under with a hearty plate of classic sausage & Guinness casserole, and the latest Skandi Crime Sensation on BBC4, Broen. Is it as good as The Killing? I'm not sure yet, but the quantity of nudity and sexytime ensures next week's viewing...

Back to the point though: Sausage casserole - mmmmmm.

Wine Time
Difficult one to match this, mainly because there's a whole bottle of stout in the mixer, which is quite an overpowering flavour, plus there's all the apple and smokey notes from the sausages and bacon. I'm going to say 'ale' or indeed more stout works well, but if pushed I'm going to go with a big, spicy red - maybe a Syrah/Shiraz? I'm slightly unsure.

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sausage and Guinness casserole - It's a Kay McCarthy special, from the Black Book

jamie oliver's proper bloke's fusilli

After yet another weekend of excess, this time Chez Copestake in the finest of Counties, this week we're definitely starting a healthy dose of de-toxing. Well, restarting anyway. Call it a health re-boot.V.40

Things thrown into the mixer this week include healthy Vietnamese beef noodle salad (feel the pounds dropping off), a Miso Salmon broth (ooh, the health!), and a warm salad of mushrooms and squash (bikini here I come!). We then defrost some sausages and have some bloody pukka proper bloke's fusilli care of not-at-all-chubby J Oliver, whilst Ana gets stuck into the cooking white.

In other, slightly bonkers news, I was idly looking at the website stats this evening and not only did I see Mrs Jackie Collins is one of my top referrers that's not Google (Lor' bless you Jacq Jacq Jacquie!), but even better "Captain Feathersword" is my third most powerful search term! No, I don't get it either, but I love it! A-hoy!

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proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

jamie oliver's proper bloke's fusilli

God Wednesday's are tragic. Not for any particularly tragic reasons you understand, but more because of the parade of utter shit paraded across the TV, and consequently my ears whilst I'm cooking. There's only one guaranteed way to combat this outpouring of ghastly bobbins, and that's with a good manly dinner of SAUSAGES and PASTA. With WINE!

A charming BOGOF in the supermarket a few weeks ago has seen the freezer awash with Toulouse inspired bangers, and some go west tonight in the most noble of causes: Bladddy Jamie's bladddy pukka cockernee proper blokes fusilli, as noshed by the dear ol' Queen of Blighty. Lor bless her apples and pears, innit.

As much as I jealously take the piss out of La Oliver, he's an amazing cook and his recipes are sooo accessible. I love him and hate him, but his food is brilliant. So good in fact Ana gets a touch of the Natalie Cassidy's and embraces her curves by having seconds AND a couple of spoonfuls for good measure, even though she's a bird and this dish is categorically not for the likes of her. If that's not an endorsement, I don't know what is.

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proper bloke's sausage fusilli - Jamie Oliver, Cook With Jamie, p72

delia smith's toad in the hole

What a great day! Okay, so Ana's in Oslo buying reindeer jumpers in H&M - like you can't get those in Blighty - but despite her absence it's still briliant: It's a beautifully sunny and crisp, Milo's on ace form and Kayosaurus is in town so we can share the childcare in a totally-fair 5-95% split, which allows me to sleep all morning.

We have pancakes for brunch, attempt to tidy the nursery garden in the sun, go shopping, romp around  Palewell park, AND we watch Home Alone (which is aces incidentally). We also manage to eat dinner together, which was almost a success but not for any Milo based reasons.

It turns out toad in the hole could well be my culinary bete-noir. This time the batter isn't as blackened as my last attempt, although the sausages are, but it's much more welded to the bottom of the dish. Definitely more oil needed in the bottom next time:

Still, Delia's gravy is blimmin' nice.

Even better, whilst I'm snuggled up with Milo, Kay has done all the washing-up so all I've got to do when I eventually get up, is settle in for the return of Forbrydelsen II. Yay for Saturdays! Not THE Saturday's *obvs*, they're ghastly...

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toad in the hole with roasted onion gravy - Delia Smith, How to Cook Book One p164

michal symon's bratwurst stewed with sauerkraut

I can only assume I've been spending too much time with my Polish co-colleagues, because this tasted as bad as it looks.

Angela Hazel White is partially to blame because for failing to meet me for a drink (because she was already drunk in Regent's Park), leaving me to be aimlessly inspired in Fulham Waitrose. With vague recollections of a holiday in West Berlin in 1986 floating about, I thought "Why not?"

It turns out the most obvious reason is that stewed sauerkraut with large, dense vacuum-packed sausages is just a pretty rancid, acrid, sloppy combination, and simply isn't justification enough for my first "german"culinary tag. The fact I didn't have any caraway seeds was probably a blessing in hindsight...

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bratwurst stewed with sauerkraut - Michael Symon, Food Network

Leon's broccoli with sausage, chilli and fennel

Hurrah - everybody is home! What better way to celebrate than by having a family meal featuring one Milo's favourite things - sausages!

Despite being able to go to sleep with the window and curtains open, listening to music and being able to do pretty much what I want, I have to say it's nice to see everybody again. Apart from the relentless creation of dens of course...

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Leon's broccoli with sausage, chilli and fennel - Leon, Naturally Fast Food, p61

angela boggiano's mascapone, prosciutto and rocket pizza and giacobazzi's cotechino al'Inglese

After the relative sloth of Saturday, today we're running at 1000 per cent:

• We go shopping;
• We deal with a mountain of washing and tidying;
• We complete last week's gardening extravaganza;
• We go to Palewell Park and whilst Ana runs around Richmond Park, me and Milo play netball.

All this in scorchio temperatures - can it really be summer already? Anyway, having completed stages 1-3, we're in need of some vital energy and further inspired by myveryfavouriteItalianissueofDelicious, we get experimental with the cover-recipe: mascapone, proscuitto and rocket pizza.

Now I've destroyed far too many pizza bases to bother making my own anymore, so we use ready-made ones, which also makes it quicker and easier for Milo to get involved with doing the toppings. We do one with olives and one without:

I have to say, they were pretty darn toothsome with the mascapone really giving them a unexpected freshness. Note to self though, remember to stick the tomatoes on the bottom rather than try balancing them on top.

With Monkey in bed post-cavort around the park, we have our third recipe from the May 2007 edition of Delicious this week! Do bear in mind when you look at this I had a selection of normal Yorkshire puddings in the freezer, but Ana somehow managed to buy a huge, all-Beef Dripping Yorkshire pudding, for 5p in Waitrose...

Again, like the spaghetti alla carrettiera, it's an old favourite and one I usually have when Ana's away. It's a lentil and garlicky sausage stew from the Hampsted Deli Giacobazzi's, and despite sounding quite heavy, it's pretty light but is packed with lots of flavour. You don't need to eat too much of it, which is just as well as it means Milo's got plenty for dinner tomorrow.

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mascapone, prosciutto and rocket pizza - angela boggiano, Delicious, May 2007, p102
cotechino al'Inglese - raffaele and renata giacobazzi, Delicious, May 2007, p56

bill granger's giovanni's sausages with potatoes and rosemary

Is there anything better to cheer up a man left alone whilst his wife and son go globe-trotting for the week, than a hearty plate of sausages and sort-of chips, and a Napoleonic swashbuckling epic on t'telly?

Who needs spouses and kids anyway?

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giovanni's sausages with potatoes and rosemary - Bill Granger, Simply Bill, p77

sausage and bacon toad-in-the-hole

After yesterday's pie success, tonight we've got a batter near miss. I've never cooked toad in the hole before, and given we have pancakes most weekends and Milo loves sausages, it seems a no-brainer. However the result is *not* what I anticipated...

Still, the bits which aren't overly crispy are pretty tasty. I figure contrary to Fran's recipe I'll give it 10 minutes less than advertised, which should make it about perfect. Sadly the unforeseen carbonisation means there will be no sausages in pancakes for Milo's tea tomorrow. For shame.

Food of the Milos
No nursery this week as it's half-term, which means Ana's got a difficult week of entertaining on her hands. Luckily she's got some of Jacqui's biscuits from yesterday to use as bribery, as well as a trip to the park with Zoe, Zac and Joe on the cards.

Nibbles are a default these days so you don't need to know about them, (ignore the fact I've just told you), but I've no idea what he had for lunch. For dinner he had more chicken and leek pie, and unlike yesterday's fannying about, tonight he eats it all.

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sausage and bacon toad-in-the-hole - Fran Wardle, Delicious, Feb 2007, p128